Saturday, May 21, 2011
Pride and Prejudice and Marriage
Twelve years ago today, I had my first date with Mr. Darcy. He picked me up and took me out to dinner. It was a fabulous first date. 6 short weeks later he took me to dinner again, but this time he flew us to San Francisco, and then after dinner proposed to me at Coit Tower (who knew CPA's were so romantic?). A short six months after that, we were married. I have learned a few things these past dozen years, and I still have alot to learn. But these are worth sharing:
1. Smile. Smile when it is going great and smile when the going is tough. You will show your spouse that you can roll with the punches with a good attitude and you will show your kids that its not that hard to be happy and pleasant. For a great post I wrote about the power or a smile, click here. Remember, when things get tough, you are in the trenches together. Smiling helps. Alot.
2. Date nights are important. We have always had date nights. During times we were saving money (or just didn't have any) we would have an adult only late dinner after the kids went to bed. Sometimes they are casual, and sometimes they are dress up. Never underestimate the power of a good date night. Ours always end up with us both laughing so hard I have tears. I love that.
3. You can't pick your family, or his. I wish I knew when we got married what I know now about dealing with family. Mainly, that ignoring those who can't be happy for you is the best way to go. You will continue to be happy and they will continue to be miserable and bitter. You are getting the better end of this deal.
4. Never understimate the power of a romantic gesture. Make them. Appreciate them. Recognize that your spouse's idea of a romantic gesture might not always be yours, but that doesn't mean the thought behind it is any less. If your husband unloads the dishwasher or feeds the baby; he gets credit and should be praised accordingly.