Are you hospitable?

Are you hospitable?

I don't mean offering someone a sweet tea when they hit your front door. (Though I find that is always a good idea, but I digress...)

I mean in your heart.

and in your home.

To those in your home.

Because hospitality starts at home.

I fall short on this often. That needs more emphasis. O-F-T-E-N.

Earlier this week...It's tax season and I'm tired and I'm in graduate school again and I'm cranky and my son just spilt half a pitcher of lemonade and. I.

over-react.

Sigh.

and then feel, you know, really crappy, for the next two hours, because I have hurt his little spirit all because why? Well in the MOMENT because lemonade was running into three drawers of clean kitchen linens, all over the counter and the floor.

But in that after moment...

when I remember he did it himself because him getting his own drinks and snacks has been a goal  on his ISFP for over TWO YEARS and he is finally doing it~~ and I was not hospitable.

Had a visitor spilt the lemonade I would have put a smile on my face, grabbed the towels and reassured them it was no big deal. Multiple times. Until they felt better. Reassured.

Sean, who is not a visitor, who is my son.  That needs more emphasis S-O-N,  got my frustration, and yelling and I'm pretty sure I had some colorful language under my breath. and maybe not as under my breath as I would have preferred cause later a said younger sister asked me what said colorful word meant... (Lord help my MOUTH)

#parentingfail

Know what I'm getting at?

Why does our my family not get our my best?

And we are back to hospitality.

As wives and mothers, the art of hospitality should be one that is dear to our hearts. It is, in fact, our highest calling in our homes~~to be hospitable to our families. And, even though my actions during Lemonade-gate showed otherwise, it is dear to mine. I love being with my family and doing for them more than anything. So, when parenting-fail days happen (like "Lemonade-gate") what can we do. Funny enough, the things we should do after are the same things we should do before things like that happen...

1. Pray~~accept no substitute
2. Bible~~Arm yourself with at least one verse from the word of God because let me tell you, Satan. Hates That. My favorites on hospitality are: Matthew 5:35-40, Romans 12:13 and 1 Peter 4:9.
3. Tell~~tell your family you love them. Apologize when you don't show them the hospitality they deserve.
4. Show~~show them your best. Best manners. Kindest Words. Every day.

Getting back to Lemonade-gate...I should have armed myself with 1 Peter 4:9 which says

"Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling"

My challenge to myself, and to you if you want to join me, is to use the 30 days in April to be more hospitable-- to your (my) family. To give them your (my) best. To show them hospitality. We need to treat the people that we love as good as if not better as the people that we like. I fall short on this because of many excuses: stress, frustration, exhaustion, busy-ness, impatience. This is not good enough. What IS good enough for those in my care who the whole extent of my job as wife and mother is to care for them?

Nothing but my very best.

Let me tell you...Next lemonade-gate I will be ready.

"When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them.
Always be eager to practice hospitality."
Romans 12:13

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Blessings,

Irish Traditions and a Recipe

My St. Patrick's day post was delayed due to us losing our dear Duchess. I wanted to share it with you today, sharing with you some of our Irish traditions here at Brighton Park.

This sign hangs beside our front door. Most of our Irish housewares were gifts  to Mr. Darcy from his mother.

As most of you know, our last name IS Sullivan. Mr. Darcy's paternal grandmother, whom our fourth child is named after (Charlotte Alice) came to America from Ireland through Ellis Island, by herself, when she was a young girl.  

This St. Patrick's Day was special for our eldest daughter, Audrey. It marked her first Irish dancing public performances; as she danced at three different Irish businesses this year. Here she is getting ready to leave for the first one. The costume for the St. Patrick's Day performances this year was a white shirt and navy skort.

                                                 Her Irish dancing shoes were in her bag....

She performed the soft shoe jig and light reel, had a really great time, and did a fantastic job (if I do say so myself)! It was good practice for Audrey, who will be competing in her first Irish Dancing competition very soon. Audrey also takes violin lessons and her teacher's specialty area is Irish fiddle, so she gets both classical and Irish fiddle each week.

Besides the sign outside our house we have a few lovely Irish things inside, including...

The traditional Celtic House Blessing, which is "May the spirit of this house bring joy to all who enter".

This blessing (made via stone on paper) hangs in our Dining Room)

And this sign, which means "Blessing" hangs in our Kitchen

I collect tea cups, but my Mother could not resist, one year, sending me these coffee mugs with an Irish blessing on them...

We always do a traditional Irish dinner for St. Patrick's Day (usually corned beef with my special brown mustard glaze, potatoes and cabbage, and Irish Soda Bread). But we have Irish dinners other times as well. Of the three Irish cookbooks that we own, this is my favorite: 

This year instead of Irish Soda Bread. We made Breda Power's Bread from this cookbook. It is delicious. Here is the recipe:

Preheat oven to 400 degrees.

Ingredients:
3 1/2 cups wholewheat flour
1 1/3 cups plain white flour
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp cream of tartar
1 rounded teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon pure Irish honey
1 tablespoon cooking oil
2 cups buttermilk
1 egg--free range if possible (I use one of our duck eggs as it makes for a lighter bread but you can use a free range chicken egg if you don't have ducks) 

Directions:

Grease a large loaf pan with oil. Mix all the dry ingredients together and make a well in the center. Beat the oil, honey, buttermilk and egg together and pour into the dry ingredients. Mix to a nice soft dough and knead lightly. Place the dough in the pan, cover with foil, and bake in the preheated oven for 1 hour or until the bread sounds hollow when tapped. Cool on a wire rack.

I love being able to share with my kids all of the different cultures in their family lineage. By learning where they came from, they can have a better view of where they are going. The Irish celebrations in our home are just one of the ways we do that. What special things do you do in your home to celebrate your lineage?

This post is linked up with the meme at Meet Penny.

Blessings (Beannacht),

Meeting Kristi Yamaguchi

Yesterday evening, the girls and I had the pleasure of meeting 1992 Ladies Figure Skating Olympic Gold Medalist, Kristi Yamaguchi. who was in town promoting her new book. "It's a Big World, Little Pig". The book is a sequel to her first book "Dream Big, Little Pig". Both books follow the story of a little pig named Poppy who is an ice skater.

Kristi introduced her book and read it to the audience. My girls followed the story along with their book.

My girls were one of the few that were allowed to sit in the floor in the front row. Following the reading, Kristi held a Q and A. That little hand up is my daughter Audrey who asked Kristi how old she was when she went to her first championship.

I also asked a question. I asked her what advice she could give to those of us in the audience who were raising figure skaters to help us ensure a positive experience for our daughters.

After the Q and A we were able to meet Kristi and get pictures and autographs.

                                                                   Charlotte and Kristi

She personalized both girls' books and signed both their ice skates. She spent alot of time with the girls, asking them about their skating and giving them encouragement.

                                                                   Audrey and Kristi

 She spent time with each one asking them about their skating and telling them to work hard and Dream Big.  It was a wonderful experience for me and the girls. In my life, I've had the opportunity to meet a dozen or so "celebrities" and Kristi may be my new favorite on that list. She is a class act and was extremely gracious. It was a very special evening for my little figure skaters, and for me as well!

                                   Me, Charlotte, Audrey and Gold Medalist, Kristi Yamaguchi

Do you remember watching Kristi win the Gold Medal in Albertville, France in 1992?

This post is linked up to Mommy Monday link up at Simply Prudent.

Those on the Passenger Side...

                                                                   Duchess 2007-2012


Travels with Charley. Do you know the book by Steinbeck? He wrote it about his travels driving across the country with his poodle, Charley. In 1997, taking Steinbeck's lead, I did the same.  I took a traveling position with my company and spent the next 18 months traveling across the country with my cairn terrier, Campbell. I did 13 week to 3 month work assignments, filling in for other  speech language pathologists at various hospitals and rehab centers. When they went on maternity leave or there was a position not yet permanently filled, I would go in and fill the gaps. And my ever faithful companion in the passenger seat was that terrier.

I bought Campbell in 1995. We lived in my apartment for 2 years leading a normal life and then began our adventure when I accepted this new work position. We started on the East coast of Florida. By the time we were finished we had traveled across the country...until we ran out of country, to California. and then up to Northern CA, close to the Oregon border..traveling buddies for 18 months. Each new state, each new city, each new assignment...Campbell was my constant companion. What adventures we had. He was a great travel buddy.

 When I married Mr. Darcy he was none to pleased about giving up the passenger side of the car or the bed, where he had slept faithfully the previous 7 years. I had him for 12 years. During that time, he too learned to love Mr. Darcy. When the twins were babies, he was constantly caught pulling off their socks and for Audrey, he sat through no less than 50 makeovers. Lip gloss included. When he passed away, it was very sad. He had been with us through every apartment, baby, house and new state, up to that point in our married lives, and he been with me through all my single post college years,  and then he was gone.

Six months passed and Mr. Darcy offered to get me a new dog. I said no. I wasn't ready.
A year passed. I still wasn't ready...and then one day I realized I was when I saw the cutest little Cavalier King Charles Spaniel in a pet store window in a mall in Paradise Valley while out shopping one day with Mr. Darcy.

That clever Mr. Darcy. He acted like he wasn't paying much attention, but a few days later, that sweet adorable spaniel was under the tree waiting for me...with little red bows on each ear. I named her Duchess and she was my baby and all was right in my pet owning world again.

Duchess passed away today. She was 5. When this weekend started, she was due to have her second litter of puppies this week.  We were all so excited and awaiting a new group of little ones to take over the master bathroom for awhile.

 Unfortunately, an ill time seizure derailed her labor. An ER vet house call visit, IVs, bags of fluid, and a delivery later,  Duchess' litter was 5 beautiful, but all stillborn, pups. The next 12 hours saw us keeping vigil, keeping her company, offering her water and treats and I was relieved today to see her finally napping off and on this morning . I checked her diligently throughout the day and Mr. Darcy called often for updates and all was well until this afternoon; I saw her napping had turned to no movement and I had been told, not asked, to say goodbye to another dear passenger side friend.

We have other dogs. Duke, Duchess' mate, is also considered my dog and he is my other big baby. We miss her together. These are hard life lessons for grown ups and children alike. They remind us that each day with someone or some pet we love is a blessing and even though we hurt, life goes on.

                                                  Duchess, left and Duke, right, summer 2011.

I will miss my dear sweet little friend. Who followed me around house and yard and slept on the floor on my side of the bed. What a good little dog you were, and like Campbell, you will always be in my heart.

**I was going to post on St. Patrick's day today~~I had a post scheduled to post to share one of my favorite soda bread recipes (Breda's power bread) and tour you about the Irish memorabilia we have here at Brighton Park. That post has been rescheduled for later this coming week.

The Big Question...Part ONE.

Me and my boys...

This week, I got asked "THE QUESTION". The big one. The one I hate being asked because it forces me to confront something I hate thinking about.  It started with me heading over to our neighbors house with some eggs last week. I have a favorite set of neighbors here, just down the way from my front door. They were the first to come welcome us when we moved in and two weeks later, when Baby Brooke was born, they brought food, and bread, and they are often doing those wonderful kindnesses that the neighbors I grew up with always did.

The wife is a counselor and her husband a veterinarian, who has taught me things like how to help your dog get through delivering her first set of puppies and other wonderful animal medicine nuggets of wisdom. They raised 5 boys and love our big family. We visit each other face to face often and those visits always remind me how the art of hospitality is best when it includes in person visits.

They always inquire about our kids and our animals and it is always a nice visit. They are genuinely loving, kind people. So I wasn't surprised when they asked me...

"So, what is your long term plan for the boys?" and I don't think they were surprised at all by my answer, which was

"Keep them home with us and take care of them until we are too old and feeble to do so".

It's the only question I get about the boys that still makes me teary. Even as I write this, I feel my eyes getting a bit misty.

                                                               Mr. Darcy and our boys...

The answer I gave them is what we will do. Mr. Darcy and I have agreed upon it and both want it this way. But there is more to it than that.  Then what? The boys should easily outlive us by 30 plus years.  I used to really hurt when I would allow myself to think on it. My Sean gets concerned when "mama" is just at the grocery store, let alone on a trip. How will they understand? I have learned to allow my FAITH to battle my FEAR on this point. I added religion to the boys school subjects a few years ago. It is simplified for them and I try to teach them to their level of understanding that there is a God and he loves them. I have to trust that God will, you know, do the rest and help them to have understanding, in their own way, when I am no longer here to be the one to read the stories, cook their meals, or look after them.

 It is, for me the hardest part of being a parent of a child with special needs.

 All the other stuff is merely inconveniences to this. In fact, it is on this point that I know that my heart would not survive being a special needs parent were it not for my faith. The thought of being with the boys in Heaven and having real conversations, especially with my Timothy, who this year at age 11 began to say words, makes me misty for a whole different reason.

Now,  as a parent of a special needs child, what do we need to have in place for our children regarding our plan for them for when we are no longer here?... that is coming up in part two.

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Until then, blessings to you,

Gardening with success in the Southwest

When people think of Arizona, they tend to think of  hot weather, brown deserts and green cactus...and not much else. That really couldn't be further from the truth.  Arizona  has green pine trees, beautiful pine forests, and gorgeous mountain views in addition to sweeping desert vistas.  It is a fabulous family vacation destination and offers amazing educational spots if you are a homeschooler. If you ever find yourself here, you must let me know!

   Arizona Trees

For photo credit and to follow my "Arizona" pinterest board, click here.

 I loved our old house but I missed having actual "land". Having spent my whole childhood on a working farm with a never ending backyard to explore, that backed into acres and acres of farmland on one side and trees on the other, I came to realize that I wanted that same outdoorsy childhood for my own kids and so Mr. Darcy and I moved in 2010 to Brighton Park.

Me sitting with my stepmother, Kay, in a side section of the backyard ,

our last trip to visit my family, Summer 2010. The kids spent all day exploring every nook and cranny of the yard, side yard, and house.

 When we moved to Brighton Park, our one acre lot was mostly unlandscaped as the previous owners used almost the entire property in back for horses. We started last year with adding some grass in the  nearest part of the backyard for the kids to play on,  palm trees around the pool to go with the pine trees already on the property, and a truckful of flowering plants. This spring finds us planting fruit trees and working hard in the garden.  It's easy to grow things where the weather is temperate...anyone can do that...but it takes a little more care to be a gardener in the Southwest. But Mr. Darcy and I have learned how to find a balance between heat tolerant/environmental friendly landscaping, and gardening that provides us with fruits and vegetables for a family of 7.

 Here's a little tour of the sights and signs of spring around our homestead this week...

We are getting ready to plant more fruit trees; lemon, lime, orange and mandarin orange trees are all lined up and waiting  in our backyard. We will start them in extra large container pots and then plan to transplant them in a year or so when they are ready. Arizona is perfect weather for growing citrus and spring and fall gardens. Our current garden is 12ft x 36 ft and is shaded by sunscreen (sold in rolls) that Mr. Darcy affixed to the side boundaries. It is also covered across the top over the back 1/3. We have irrigation to all the rows and our composter sits beside. It has been a labor of love, but a big step in our journey to do more homesteading as a family and be more self sufficient. I will post pictures after we are all done planting, but we utilize regular plants (carrots, beets, peppers, etc), container planting (lettuce of different varieties and herbs) and vine plants (berries, grapes). I plan to add some nasturtiums and a few more chicken friendly plants. 

  

I hope you will try your hand at some planting this year, whether it be a basil in a pot on your kitchen counter, or a full blown out garden. Get your hands dirty, get the kids involved, and reconnect to Mother Earth a bit.  This week, most schools are on spring break. As a homeschool family we still do school, but as a Waldorf inspired homeschool, we will be spending alot of our homeschooling time this week outside, continuing to plant our family garden, and enjoying the gorgeous spring weather of Arizona. 

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Blessings to you,